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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Is the Regime Selling Us Out?

The way BO and his Schmos are handling, or more correctly, mishandling, recent issues with the nation’s security does not make me feel very safe. If I didn’t know better, and I wonder if I do or perhaps I’m favoring the brighter side, I’d think the man who had sworn to defend the Constitution and protect America might be on the wrong side.
Look at the issues that point that way. The border is wide open – anybody can sneak into the country, not only the wetbacks but camel jockeys as well. One thing to keep in mind; there is no one sneaking in who is doing us any favors. I understand there are at least a million ragheads in the Midwest preparing for jihad. This Lone Wolf thing, in which imams are training both muslims and converts from other nations the art (or science) of converting others and cutting the heads off those refusing to become muslim. That guy who beheaded the woman in Oklahoma last week was a convert.
 As you know, I’m a big supporter of the Constitution, but I’ve come to think it’s time our politicians stopped sitting on their hands and passed a law that forbade, under penalty of long, very long, prison sentences the calling for the deaths of Americans who turn down the opportunity to become muslim. How can the calling for murder of innocents be accounted for the freedom of speech. If you can’t yell “fire” in a crowded theatre, you should not be condoning the beheaded of Christians. These imam assholes brazenly throw our own laws in our faces (the First Amendment, in this case.) while trying to convert our Christian country into a branch of Islam. I’m not so sure our president is against this practice, although there is one jihadist I’ve seen on the web who states “we’re coming for Obama.” One side of me says that’s crapola; the other side says, Hey, Obama is gay and there was a imam visiting mosques around the country calling for death to the homos. (Have you seen the film on utube that claims, using the science of biometrics as evidence, that Michelle is a transsexual? Wouldn’t that beat all – a queer president brings his punk lover to the White House? Boy, would I like to know what Michelle’s got inside her knickers.
Just this week we hear that the supplies we sent to Iraq that were intended for delivery to moderate Syrians ended up airdropped to ISIS. Accident, they say. I’m not sure I believe that. Yes, our government is peopled with incompetents, no doubt about it, but can’t this crowd do anything right?
BO was on 60 Minutes Sunday night with his favorite ass-kisser Steve Croft, swearing up and down the intelligence community had not informed the regime of the happenings in the Midle East. That all of this happening now, is all news to them. Turns out – SURPRISE! – BO was lying again. The CIA, NSA et al say the administration has been in the loop for past four years on all relevant activities in Middle East. Apparently, the intelligence community keeps records. Then, of course, there is the article that reports the president frequently skips out on security briefings. Doesn’t sound like he takes his job very seriously – he can be found on the golf course at about any time. The scenario, taken in total, is scary.
I am reminded of the insightful final book of the Chronicles of Narnia, “The Last Battle.The book describes how the good-hearted but naïve citizens of Narnia throw away their civilization – losing both their lives and their cherished world – by falling for a ruse foisted upon them by a few cunning and ruthless characters. When you read it, you know what’s going to happen, and you wonder why the people didn’t see it coming. The unscrupulous lied and cheated then lied some more and, in the end, the lights in “the city on the hill” grow dark.
We all know the emperor wears no clothes – most of us can see the truth of what’s happening to America – it’s right there in front of us, what’s not to see? But political correctness has us all shaking in our shoes. Most are afraid to criticize a black president who lies to us nearly everyday – whenever he says anything, its usually found to be untrue. But we dare not be too critical – we’ll be labeled racist, judgmental, bigoted. Maybe it’s time our leaders stood up and took those shots, for the good of the country.

In the history of the world, a world ruled by wars and savagery, despots and corruption, the shining light of a free country shown for a bit longer than two hundred years. Since America’s founding there have been those scheming to destroy it. Rats like Woodrow Wilson, Frankin D. Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and the worst of all, Obama, have all taken a shot at kicking the foundation stones out from under the American Experiment. The greed and corruption of small-minded antagonists have cracked the façade of America the Beautiful. How much longer can she last? I’d say it was up to us and how we vote in the elections next month. We know the Democrats will be out to steal the election, just as they did in 2012. Keep your eyes open at the polls – anything that looks fishy, probably is. Report what you see to the proper authorities.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Discovery of Modern America

With America as we know it being fundamentally screwed over, I was curious as to the true history of the country. One cannot be sure the schools are teaching true history, but rather revisionist tall tales written by liberals, for the purpose of making us all look bad. When something is described as being rotten, there appears a desire to either repair the damage or outright destroy it. Many in our country have chosen the latter. There is only one place in the Western Hemisphere to research such a topic. I went to the Wimodaughsian Library to ask librarian Heidi Robertson what was available. Sure enough, she produced the Modern History of America on microfiche. Our discovery went something like this (leaving room for artistic license, of course).
A ship (that’s right, just one) tossed anchor in the bay. Two black men, the apparent leaders of the expedition, appeared on deck. Each took telescopes from inside their jackets and, peering all around, surveyed the land they had discovered.
“Indeed, it is a beautiful land, is it not, Captain Botulism?”
Captain Botulism, never one to jump to conclusions or offer undue praise (but made plenty of unadvised decisions), said nothing. He continued to peer about as if looking for something in particular. Finally, he uttered, “There, yon,” pointed into the distance. “See that village with all the people moving about? Those people are all busy doing things. Bustling about, doing this and that. They are WORKING, Captain Doctor! That’s annoying to me.”
“Yes, I see that. Some people are makers of things, or growers of crops. They sell the fruits of their labor to others to make money with which they will buy from others what they need. Others own stores in which things can be purchased. Yet others work for people who are working doing something else. It’s a beautiful system.”
“Bah, humbug,” snorted Captain Botulism (I was as surprised as you must be to learn that Ebenezer Scrooge was not the first person to utter the phrase, “Bah, humbug.” Indeed it was the words of a black socialist when he first glimpsed the beauty of America). “Have you overlooked the man in the stocks having squishy tomatos and rotten eggs thrown at him? That’s unjust.”
“Obviously, he’s being punished for having done something wrong.”
“Did he have an attorney present? Was he allowed to appeal the conviction?”
“Probably not.”
“Ha, you see, I knew there was something wrong with the set up here. I wonder what the man did to deserve being put in the stocks.”
“It says here in the tour guide one of the most common reasons is that he did not pay his bills. Maybe that was it.”
“Ah ha, so he’s a poor man. Probably all those other people in the town have more money than he does, so they persecute the man. Have wealthy persons ever been put into such a contraption?”
“I would think that if a wealthy person committed a crime punishable by spending time in the stocks, then he would. The Constitution calls for equality in the law.”
“The Constitution is a rag that needs to be ignored. I’ll bet the judge who sentenced that man to stocks didn’t read the Constitution first.”
“I still stay there is fairness in our laws. No matter how much money a man has, if he breaks the law, he will be punished – most of the time.”
“Humbug! Never happen. Beside, what would be wrong with spreading the wealth around a little bit?” making sweeping, circular motions with his arm. “Making sure everyone has a little piece of the pie.”
“That’s crazy talk, Botulism,” replied the Doctor. “People need to keep what they earn. This inspires more production of goods. Confiscating it to give to someone else is theft.”
“That’s crap. It inspires equality of wealth. There are always more of the poor.”
“But in this atmosphere everyone has the opportunity to attain something more,” opined the Doctor.
“Bah, humbug. That opportunity needs to be controlled.”
The two men had left the ship, and were strolling side-by-side through the town. They came up on a female business owner arguing with what appeared to be a tax collector.
“I’m not paying for an increase in taxes. The town was taking enough, I can’t afford no more.”
“But, ma’am, everyone has to pay their fair share.”
“I’ve paid my fair share already. Besides, the lord mayor promised the boardwalk on my street would be fixed immediately after the tax increase legislation was passed. That was months ago. Lyin’ damn politicians. And to think, lying is legal for those assholes.”
“But, ma’am, I’m just doing my job,” the tax agent whined.
The exchange had Captain Botulism hugely excited. He was bouncing up and down, shaking his fists, “Tell her you’ll take her business until she pays,” he growled, spittle of the rabid sort dripping from the corners of his mouth. “Then threaten to confiscate her house, then her horse and buggy. Go on, do it!” he screeched in a clearly audible whisper.
Suddenly, Captain Botulism’s attention was drawn to a pregnant young woman walking along talking to another pregnant young woman. He stood staring at them, for once he was speechless, until he said. “Good grief, woman, hasn’t anyone spoken to you about birth control?”
“What?” replied one horrified woman. “Birth control? What is this “birth control,” I ‘ve never heard of such a thing.”
“You can get rid of those unsightly bumps by attending a good birth control clinic. It’s called being “Pro-Choice.” It’s a woman’ prerogative – to have control over what happens to her body.”
“What nonsense is this? My body is currently being used by God for the purpose of creating another human being. Birth control? I intend to control the birth of my child to the best of my ability, then to raise my child to be honest and God-fearing, a productive member of society. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.” And with chin high, she strode away from Botulism, one of the few American women who made the right Choice.
The two men hung around the town for a while, talking with merchants and people on the street. Captain Doctor was very pleased with the culture extant in the town. Townsfolk were busy, most were at least fairly prosperous, and most appeared happy.
“They don’t deserve their happiness,” growled Botulism. “They didn’t build any of this, somebody else did, and they have no right to it. None of the necessary institutions of government are present. No NSA, no IRS buildings, no camera surveillance, no abortion clinics, no massive government sprawl. It’s a waste; it truly is a waste. All the potential here for government overreach and political corruption, Chicago style. THERE’S NONE OF THAT HERE, DOCTOR! AND I CAN’T STAND IT.” The poor man stood quivering with rage and resentment. After some time he cooled down and asked Doctor Ben Carson, “So what are you going to do?”
“I think I’ll hang around, see if I can be a help in causing the ideals here to grow. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful ideas, and I want be a part of it. And you, Captain BO?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna hang around too,” Captain BO said, an evil, faraway look in his eyes as he gazed off across the land. “Just long enough to destroy your beautiful land. Nobody deserves to live in such a beautiful place. I’ll lay it to waste and leave it smoldering, and laugh all the way back to wherever it was that I came from.”

                                                              

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Flocks of "Birds" head to D.C.

I was out hiking in the countryside the other day when I spotted a guy crouching behind a fallen log, peering intently at something in the distance. While I watched, without taking his eyes off the distant thing, he reached into his book bag and withdrew a pair of extra heavy-duty binoculars. I too peered into the distance, eyes squinted to the utmost, but couldn’t see a thing. Bending low, so as not to be seen by whatever was out there, I slipped in next to the guy.
“Whadya see out there?” I whispered, my searching brow crinkled.
“I’m not sure. Something … I think,” he whispered back.
“What did you think you saw?”
“Eh, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t anything.”
“But you must have seen something. Had you seen anything like it before?”
“Well, yeah, it had a familiar look to it. Not only did I think I’d seen one before, I think I used to have one.”
“No kidding? That’s really interesting.”
“But it disappeared so fast I wasn’t sure I even saw it. I know there aren’t many of them around, and I’m pretty sure I saw a couple of other guys out with binoculars earlier, obviously looking for something. I didn’t know what it was they were looking for – maybe the same things I thought I saw.”
“But it was familiar? Not something new?”
He thought about that then said, “No, but it seems that if I actually saw a real one, I might not believe my eyes. I’ve got this goose-bumpy feeling there used to be a lot of these things around, but, alas, they are now gone - extinct,” he said sadly.
“You mean like an endangered species. Here today, gone the next?”
He looked at me kind of weird.
“Could be. Hey, you’re the guy they call Newshawk, aren’t you? Wow, pleased to meet you – I think!”
I said I was and opined, “This is sort of like bird watching, you know it? You think you see a particular bird, but you don’t. Sometimes it’s there but flits away. Makes you look like a horse’s patoot.”
“If you say so. Wow! Did you see that?” pointing into the distance. “It looked as though a whole bunch of those things popped up from behind that bush over there and just flat out disappeared.”
“Like a flock of birds?”
“Maybe. But you know this time they looked more like … dare I said it? … jobs,” he said sheepishly.
“Now, wait a minute. Maybe you haven’t seen a job for so long, you just imagined you saw one.”
“You think?”
Without warning, a thing popped out from behind a tree, hung momentarily then “popped” away, like a cartoon balloon exploding when an idea blows up.
“That t’weren’t no bird, Mr. Newshawk,” the guy sputtered. “That was definitely a whatcha call … job!” obviously shaken by being so close to one.
“You know, I’ll bet that was BO’s phantom job counsel messing with your head.”
“Job counsel? What job counsel? You’re yanking my chain, right?”
“Nope. Believe it or not there was once such a thing. It was a fleeting thing, it appeared to be here, but it really wasn’t. Ephemeral it was, as most good things are in modern day America.”
“You mean it was a lie.”
“Well stated, my man. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Jobs are just words anymore. You still foolish enough to be looking for a job?”
“Yeah. Dumb, huh?”
“Only if you think the president is going to help you find one. I think what you’re seeing out there, flitting and poof! going away, is BO flipping you off. Teasing you.”
“Yeah, huh? Well what do you think he’ll think about this bird,” making the appropriate gesture.
“I’m sure there are flocks of those birds headed his way every day.”

=================================================================

By the way, should you crave more of The Flip Side, go to Amazon or Barnes and Noble and kindly purchase my book, The Newshawk Reports: The Writings of a Politically Incorrect Newsbird. It's a good read, well written, if I do say so myself, and you're sure to enjoy it.





Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Truth About the Marketplace Fairness Act

I have done some research on the Marketplace Fairness Act, and although far from having gained expert status on the subject, it sounds like a bunch of hoopla to me. Specifically, the bill itself and much of the discussion about it miss the point: It is a blatant attempt by local governments, Washington, DC, politicians and Big Business to put small internet businesses out of business.
This act has already passed the Democrat-controlled Senate and is awaiting a vote in the House (You should remember this when you vote in November). I would hope that Conservative House Republicans would vote the thing down, but there are any number of Democrats there as well and the ever-present throng of RINOs (Republicans in Name Only) cheering on the passage of this travesty. (They would dearly love to see it happen without having to accept any responsibility).
The Marketplace Fairness Act is fair to nobody but cash-strapped states and Big Businesses, who are trying to rid themselves of small-business competition. Of course, the proponents of the MFA crow that its “leveling the playing field.” Yeah, right. You should know by now that anytime you hear the regime, the Senate, or Big Business speak of leveling anything, or fairness for that matter, in regard to anything to do with the middle class, you’re hearing B.S. in its purest form.
A small business making sales on the internet has the potential to make sales in all 50 states. How many small business owners have the resources to administer the payment of sales taxes to all 50 state tax agencies as well as the many thousands of tax jurisdictions within the states? According to Wayne Allyn Root in his new book The Murder of the Middle Class, “But it’s not just paying taxes to thousands of jurisdictions. The law being proposed opens the door to businesses being audited at any time by any one of the fifty states, or those nine thousand jurisdictions.”
No small business operator could afford the staff to do the paperwork required to comply with such “oversight.” As it stands now, if you own a business in New York, the only risk of audit is from New York. Should an internet tax be put in place the risk of audit can come from any state in which sales are made. Possibly more than one at any time.
Few, if any, small businesses could survive under those circumstances. Big businesses, however, would have no trouble at all. Big Business will be happy to see you gone. And that’s the point of the push for the internet tax. Big Business is contributing heavily to for-sale House members to assure the passage of the law, because they do not want the competition from you, the small business person. It’s true, Amazon, Walmart and Home Depot, et al, all of your favorite Big Business online sites, are conspiring to force the demise of small business. The greedy SOBs want to close you down and absorb your clientele. Once they are rid of you, they will be able to raise prices to cover the cost of compliance. No skin off their noses.
As a consumer I detest the thought of paying a sales tax to a jurisdiction in a distance state, which returns nothing to me for my money (much like the federal government which is currently not spending a dime on anything of interest to me). It’s a huge money grab by local government, intended to beef up empty coffers caused by overspending on entitlements. We here in New York are already paying quite enough to welfare. We don’t need to pay for another state’s coddling of the “idle class” as well.
How did the idea of an internet sales tax come into being, you ask? As mentioned, state and municipal governments are broke, with no place to go for cash. We middle class folks are broke and have few jobs between us, so we are not a viable source for lots of money. The governments went to Big Business, saying, Hey, here’s a great idea for us to start digging out of the hole we got ourselves into and for you guys to gut middle class businesses. But we need your help. You need to send your lobbyists to Congress with the money to buy the votes to pass the Marketplace Fairness Act. Okay? Then when the act becomes law, you’ll have to join in the lies we’ll tell, along with D.C politicians, about the “fairness” of it all. Okay?
 All of which matches up with the regime’s goal of disposing of the middle class. The theft of even more of your money will make the politicians, the regime, Big Business, state governments and municipalities all very happy. And you’ll be out of the picture, working for minimum wage for Walmart – or some other Big Business of your choice, or maybe not of your choice, but of your necessity.


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Keep Football Talk for Football

Sunday morning I turned on the TV to watch ESPNs Countdown to Football Sunday. This I do almost every Sunday to get a handle on what’s what in the NFL. It is a time to hear football guys talk about a guy’s game. Football talk = talk about football! Not talk about domestic violence, as was done by Ray Lewis, Keyshawn Johnson et al last Sunday.
Yes, domestic violence needs to be talked about. Unfortunately, laws need to be passed to try to keep it from happening. It shouldn’t be that way. And its bothersome to hear about big, tough football guys beating up on women. Maybe they aren’t so tough after all. Just because a guy wears a gangstas do-rag and carries a pistol, as so many of them do, doesn’t make a twinkie into a badass anyway. Beating up on guys might make you a badass, but beating up on women makes you a punk.
Actually, Lewis’ spiel about the topic of the week made a lot of sense. The former Baltimore Ravens linebacker wasn’t happy about the focus of media attention on the NFL and the current spate of accusations against football players beating up family members. Ray Lewis made the point that violence against women was not an NFL problem but a “world problem.” He’s right. Of course, the hound dog media is baying loudly about it, as it does when misfortune hits any group of people not involving them.
I am somewhat surprised by the fact that so many of America’s women believe there is a war on against them. The issue of unequal pay has apparently been handled, depending on who you believe, and shows the difference is only a few pennies per hour for men and women of equal qualifications. The White House is supposed to be the biggest offender of unequal pay, but as you might expect, White House spokespeople deny it. And, as you might expect, no one believes them.
But back to big, bad athletes beating up on their lady friends. (Well, maybe “lady” is a bit of a stretch. Ladies don't dress like tramps, with their private parts on display. like so many women do these days.) There has been quite a number of athletes accused of this crime. But, wait a minute, is it a crime? Of course it is. Assaulting anyone is a crime. So why aren’t these guys being arrested for committing a crime? And why hasn’t the NFL already created its own set of punishments? The NFL should be able to discipline Sluggo when he gets violent with Nancy.
 I was glad to hear Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings was reinstated for Sunday’s game. Taking a switch to misbehaving boys is a time-honored method of keeping them in line (or trying to, anyway). I don’t know any men who say they weren’t spanked, usually by their fathers, when they misbehaved. Of course, in these politically correct times, spanking itself will soon be a criminal offense. Parents are allowed less and less authority over their own children, as government sticks its nose further into our business. Ben Franklin once opined, “Spare the rod, spoil the boy.” Most of those misbehaving boys, now men, mentioned above, say they behaved themselves (for the most part) out of fear of their fathers and the subsequent punishment. For the most part, the practice turned out some good, honest, hard-working men.
I see where the NOW crowd has sailed onto the wave of the controversy. I’m sure its only to make themselves seem relevant. None of the women of my acquaintance have any use for the organization. Just a bunch of man haters, they say. Most of the women I know love men. They don’t love what they do all of the time, but by and large, women love men. And vice versa. I love women and would never hit one. (Although there is a couple on the national scene I wouldn’t mind taking a swing at.)
To my mind, the NOW gang lost its credibility back in the nineties when they failed to comment on the abuses of women by Bill Clinton. It seemed like every couple of months another woman stepped forward to complain of the president’s “handling” of them. And the liberal NOW crowd said nothing about it. So their concerns for the mistreatment of women stopped short of implicating a liberal politician. A similar scenario was not ignored for Bob Packwood, a senator from Oregon. Packwood was forced to resign his post in 1995, due to numerous accusations of sexual abuse against women. Oh, yeah, he was a Republican senator, in case you hadn’t guessed. It was ever thus: Liberals get away with any crime they wish to commit, while Conservatives are hounded out of office. Even though the NOW gang has joined forces with most of the Western world in the condemnation of wife and girlfriend beaters, in my view, their involvement lends no credence to the arguments which will surely be forthcoming.
But back to the original point. If football guys want to sit around and chat about domestic violence on television, set them up on the Oprah show or The View and let them go at it. But the topic has no place on a Sunday morning football countdown. It should be just guys talking football talk about football. Period.




Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Magic Needed for BO's Image

I pulled the Fredmobile to the curb near the Off-White Abode and cringed when B.S (brown stuff) from the street splashed onto the sides of my environmentally brown ride. I took some pride in operating an environmentally suitable automobile; I just didn’t want it to look that way. You may remember the Fred runs on B.S., which is plentiful and free in Washington. The stuff is everywhere. Brown stuff from other liberal locales is a suitable fuel, but I found the octane lower than in the crapitol city itself. I wanted a fuel that would make my pipes rap loudly when I gunned the motor, as befits a really cool realAmerican. (No, that is not a typo.)
But that’s not why I write today.
I write to inform you of the results of a meeting I had with BHO – You-Know-Who.
I made a stealthy entrance into the Off-White Abode and, as usual, there were no Secret Service guys around. They were likely hanging out in closets (no not that kind of closet), reading my book, The Newshawk Reports, which is a big hit among those suffering from Barry Lib fatigue. For obvious reasons, they could not be seen reading my tome of politically incorrect truths in the halls of a politically correct regime (Is there anything correct about political correctness? This is pure liberal B.S. More correctly, a blatant lie on the part of a basically dishonest ideology. Nothing these people believe is correct. But do they really believe their own drivel? Hmm. Interesting point to ponder. Or are they just throwing it out there to piss off the rest of us?)
I strolled nonchalantly into the Ovoid Space, to find BHO sitting at his desk holding his head in his hands.
“Whatsa matter, Mr. President, all the crap going on in the world finally gave you a headache, huh?”
“Oh, for Allah’s sake. How did you get in here, Newshawk? And whadya mean, crap? There’s no crap in the world; at least none that I did,” sitting up straight, trying unsuccessfully to appear presidential.
“Oh, no? A near race riot in Ferguson, Missouri; thousands of people pouring across the border who have no business being here, while your schmos hide them all over the country; jihadists in Iraq are beheading American journalists Americans are concerned that ISIS is in America, and that you know about it. You’re not out from under the Bengazi business yet; there are very few people out there who believe the IRS scandal didn’t originate here in the White House, more particularly here in the Oval Office; and Obamacare, as you most certainly know, has completely destroyed a darned good healthcare system. And, again, as you certainly must know, a high percentage of Americans, including members of your own party, think you are a liar.
“Is that enough crap, or should I continue?”
“No, stop,” waving a weary hand. “Enough is enough.”
“I’ll say it is. That transparent government you were laying claim to, early in your first term, sure was a bunch of hooey, too, wasn’t it? ‘The most transparent administration in history,’ you said, and you said it many times, making you a serial liar. Wow, that was a real whopper, that one; almost as good as the one about being able to keep your own doctor, remember that? Gosh, those were the days, huh? Back when the people used to believe the crap you were telling them. That one about the new healthcare bill reducing premiums by $2,500 a year! Ha, ha. That was a classic. I gotta hand it to ya. You come up with some real doozies.”
BHO sat unhearing, staring out the window. He seemed lost in thought for several minutes. I was becoming uncomfortable with the silence, when he turned toward me and said, “What do I have to do to get people to believe me again?”
“Whatter you thinking? You want to own up to the lies you’ve told and apologize? That it?”
“Oh, hell, no. Nothing like that. But I’ve got some more B.S. to spew widely, and I want to know the likelihood of having some of it believed.”
"You have no strategy for ISIS, do you?"
"Nary a reasonable thought. But I do need a strategy for getting people to believe I've got it handled."
“So you need another lie. Here goes. Stay as far away from Jay Carney and Lois Lerner as you can get, that would help. Neither Reid nor Pelosi would be helpful to the cause. Joe Biden would be sure to screw up even your best lies, as would your basic Senate and House variety pinkos, who are not known for their forthrightness, on any subject. You ask me, it will take a magician to make you look like an honest man again.”
“A magician? One of those guys that say ‘here, pick a card,’ or pulls a rabbit out of a hat? That what you mean?”
“Yeah, but you’ll need a guy that can make an elephant disappear. Or two hippos.”
“Yeah, I get what you mean. But how do I apply it to getting people to believe me again?”
“I would try a liberal sprinkling of fairy dust. It’s appropriate, and it’s the only thing that has a chance of working.”




Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Some Pointed Chatter

Man, oh, man. Someone needs to tell our priest (again) that the longer the homily doesn’t mean the better the message. Most of us usually are tuned out after seven or eight minutes. I for one seldom retain anything after that. The man is a friend of mine and I am constantly in fear he will someday ask to discuss his homily. By the grace of God …

While I’m at it I wish to send a message to watermelon growers: I prefer watermelon with the seeds still in. Leave them there; you’ll have my undying gratitude. They’re like eating a peach with no pit. You wonder where they are.

Also a message to the people, probably Monsanto, who have Gerryrigged My Organisms to the point they’ve pissed me off. All this GMO crap has produced a tomato that 1) never gets red, but stays a sickly orange-red color and 2) is not juicy like tomatoes are supposed to be, but has the consistency of a hand grenade and 3) tastes something like tomatoes used to taste, but more like cardboard. All this so this precious fruit can be harvested and hauled to market mechanically. For crying out loud, a guy can’t even get a good tomato when he plants his own. They don’t turn red then either and all of the other complaints mentioned above still apply.

Just needed to vent; now to business.

This is the fourth time I’ve started this blog this week. With so much going on in the world, mostly involving you-know-who in one way or the other, I simply could not stay concentrated in a single issue. I figured I’d pick one today and finish it, but instead deleted them all and began anew.

My heart bleeds for those women who whine about getting razzed when entering an abortion clinic. We need more of that. After all, they are on their way to arrange the murder of an unborn child. They say it’s legal and they're entitled. Bullshit! Legal shouldn’t have anything to do with it. If a few baby’s lives might be saved by razzing these broads, then, I say, go for it.

Something that irks me, though I’m not involved at all, is this business in which the discharge of student loan debt is for all intents and purposes immune from bankruptcy proceedings. Put this right on you-know-who for his outlandish anti-jobs regulations. These kids going to school to earn a degree so they will qualify for good jobs and guess what? They learn the very government who loaned them the money has tainted the jobs market. The kids can’t make the payments, unless, of course, they are able to afford them with the welfare checks the government so readily provides.

Something says that no matter how the mess in Ferguson, Missouri, turns out in court, it will never be satisfactorily resolved for the black population. They seem to be anxious to make a lot of trouble without there being any proof a lot of trouble is called for. With no proof of Officer Wilson’s culpability, there is that idiot Al Sharpton rabble-rousing, causing trouble There has never been an event that was bettered for anyone concerned because that idiot showed up. Same with Jesse Jackson. Another damn fool. The officer needs to hope BO stays out of this one. And if the Supreme Court really wants to do something worthwhile, it needs to ban the press from showing up at any happening that involves (or may involve) race. The press can be counted on to make matters worse – every time.

I’m wondering why “the First Black President,” so named by writer Toni Morrison, didn’t show up in Ferguson with (potentially) the First Female President? There must have been a poll suggesting they not go. I doubt they made such a decision without the input of poll stuff. Naw. No way. They never made decisions on their own back in Bill’s heyday, and they didn’t turn to it now.

The election of Republican Elan Carr to the House in November would be a step in beautifying the chamber. Is there an uglier politician in all of Washington than Henry Waxman?

Why is it the national media apparently favors shielding terrorists – Hamas, ISIS, etc. – over the Israelis? Aren’t these the sick bastards chopping off the heads of journalists? If course, it’s all tied in with the journalists’ (dare I use the word to describe these putzes?) adoration of the narcissist-in-chief. If there is an army of terrorists in the U.S., we know who to put the blame on. The least they could have done is send us a warning. (If I were chosen to be president for, say, one term, the first bunch of cowardly kiss asses I would wage a war on would be national media. No group has done more to sell the country down the drain by refusing to do the work that has been entrusted to it by the American people. Too bad there are no more Walter Cronkites. The press doing kissy-kissy with the Regime is a huge betrayal. I solemnly swear that should I become president of this fair land, not a single existing liberal media outlet will survive my wrath. (I see where the Washington Post is being sold for the value of the real estate it sits on. The newspaper has, fittingly, become worthless because of decades of kissy-kissy crap with liberal politicians. I understand the Miami Herald, another liberal rag, is in the same straits. Tsk. Tsk. Wouldn’t you think that when a publisher saw his/her newspaper losing readership and then revenue, that publisher would take steps to publish what people want to read and what advertisers would invest in, and make their own leanings secondary?)

Oh, yeah, there would be no more illegal immigrants, no more crony capitalism, and I would, by executive order if necessary, erase every regulation put in force by BO’s schmos during his two terms. (That’s if we can escape another crooked BO victory at the polls in 2016. Nothing I’ve heard or read convinces me this guy is going to just walk away from the job of the most powerful man on Earth, without a fuss. His narcissism won’t permit it. I fear the possibility of the institution of martial law before that election.

And, most importantly, my presidency will signal its time we send El Semi Uno packing - with a copy of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act stuck securely between his back pockets. Hopefully to never be seen again.
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A copy of my book, The Newshawk Reports: The Writings of a Politically Incorrect Newsbird, is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.